Bummed

So it’s been a few weeks since I made the decision to start searching for my biological family. So far nothing has turned up. I don’t have much information but I can’t seem to make any connections. I’ve registered with tons of online free services but I can’t seem to find a match.

It’s looking like it’s going to have to come down to paying the State of Tennessee to get my records. The worst part about the way Tennessee works is that my biological mother could veto the release of that information. I’ve always been of the mindset that it is my right to know. I also believe that I shouldn’t have to pay a dime for that information.

Yet another reason I hate this stupid state.

Getting My Life Back

This is my last week of employment at ETSU. It’s a strange feeling. Refreshing and scary all at once. I have to say the one thing I’m looking forward to the most is getting my life back. This job has taken so much from me the last three years the thought of regaining my life is wonderful. This job has cost me time with family, it played a role in the bust up of my marriage and it has kept me from spending time with friends.

There have been some rewards working in athletics. I have loved working with the student-athletes, I have loved getting to spend time watching sports and I have loved creating friendships and relationships with other people working in the athletic department.

I haven’t loved the ridiculous hours, the nights and weekends and a few of the coaches. It’s been demanding and it has challenged me. There were times that I failed and times that I didn’t know if I could continue doing it. Somehow I managed to perservere. Even though i didn’t work for 3 weeks after Jim and I split up the job ultimately became my saving grace. It forced me to leave my house and interact with people even under the worst circumstances.

Right now I’m in the hunt for a job. I have an interesting prospect working for the city. I will no longer have to work nights and weekends and it’s a full-time professional position. I hope it pans out because I’d really hate to have to go back to fast food again.

The interesting thing about losing this job is that it opens up so many avenues for me. My parents have talked to me about staying in school and working on another degree of some type. It’s an interesting thought. Do I pursue an MBA or get a second bachelors degreee. Another thought is do I do any of this at ETSU or do I move on somewhere else and try it somewhere else.

As some of you know I’ve thought about moving to London for the last several months. That’s still a very real and viable option. right now I don’t know what I’m going to do and fortunately I have a little time to think about it but for right now I’m kicking back and I’m going to enjoy having my life back for at least a few days.

 

iTunes Survey #2

I did this awhile back but I thought it would be interesting to see how this has changed since I’ve downloaded so many more songs. Last time I filled this out I had just purchased my wonderful iPod Touch and it only had 146 songs on it.

Sort By Song Title
 - First song: “Adagio for Strings”  - Barber
 - Last Song: “You Had Me from Hello” - Bon Jovi

Sort By Time

 - Shortest Song: “The Accident” - The Illusionist Soundtrack (0:36)
 - Longest Song: “1812 Overture” - Tchaikovsky (12:32)

Sort By Album
 - First Song: “I’ll Go On Loving You”  - Alan Jackson
 - Last Song: “Would You Go With Me”  - Josh Turner

Top 10 Most Played Songs
1. One Night Only - Dreamgirls Soundtrack
2. (You Want To) Make a Memory - Bon Jovi
3. Come To Bed - Gretchen Wilson
4. I’ve Been Loving You Too Long - Otis Redding
5. When We Dance - Sting
6. Won’t Go Home Without You - Maroon 5
7. Feel - Robbie Williams
8. Colorblind - Counting Crows
9. No Air - Jordan Sparks & Chris Brown
10. I Love You - Sara McLachlan

Five Songs that come up on Shuffle
1. Better Than Me - Hinder
2. Sophie’s Ride to the Castle - The Illusionist Soundtrack
3. My Guitar Lies Bleeding in My Arms - Bon Jovi
4. Keep The Faith - Bon Jovi
5. Coat of Many Colors - Dolly Parton

Search…
“Sex”, How many songs come up? 1
“Love”, How many songs come up? 53
“You”, How many songs come up? 76
“Death”, How many songs come up? 0
“Hate”, How many songs come up? 3
“Wish”, How many songs come up? 2
456 songs, 1.3 days, 1.95GB

Random Thoughts

 - I frequently wonder what I’m doing with my life. I’ve made a lot of dumb choices in the past and I see myself putting myself into situations now that aren’t wrong but may not be wise and that concerns me.

 - I got to go out with friends on Saturday night for the first time in probably over a month. It felt so good to socialize again and I’m hoping that as my job with ETSU comes to an end that I’ll get to do more of it.

 - I haven’t had the urge to write much here lately. I don’t know if I’m uninspired or just depressed.

 - I have a weird puddle of water on the carpet in my hall way. I know that maintenance needs to come and check it out but I really dread that.

 - I wore a dress to church today. First time I’ve been in a dress since I got married.

 - It makes me really sad when my cat cries. It’s very mournful and I don’t know why he’s so upset.

 - My parents are coming over to dinner on Saturday for the first time since I’ve moved into this apartment. I’m going to have to start cleaning by Wednesday at the latest.

 - I really want to lose 10 pounds. I really hate going to the CPA by myself. I’m going to have to figure something out.

 - I’m really glad that I only have one more semester of school left but I have no clue what I’m going to do with myself afterward.

 

Also would like to send out a special shout-out to my mother on Mother’s Day. Thank you mom for being so awesome these last few months. I know that none of it was easy for you but for the most part you maintained your cool and you were an ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on. Thank you for overlooking my flaws, seeing my talents and not bitching when you saw my tattoos. Thank you for always encouraging me and for praying for me on a daily basis. I love you.

Additionally if you want to see my ex-hubby in a thoughtful, contemplative moment mash here.

Iron Man

If you haven’t seen it. Go. Pay the ridiculous prices and enjoy this movie. It’s great and Robert Downey Jr. still makes me hot.